Apparently Brazen has an album on the way. Given that grime release dates arrive with the regularity of the Hale-Bopp comet I remain as sceptical as Skepta performing at the after-party for 'The World Sceptics Society International 2009' and then being told that his cheque is in the post; ie pretty fucking sceptical. Anyway, more than any other mc in the scene I hope this is the case, because Brazen is responsible for one of my favourite songs of all-time, regardless of genre: Brazen - Aim High 3 Freestyle (produced by Target)
Everything about this tune is spot on: from the beat, which literally sounds like a tower block (more specifically the Lenton high rise flats; see above) but is also strangely reminiscent of the theme songs to the weird science programmes that used to be on BBC2 and Channel 4 in the mornings when you skived off school, to Brazen's mc-ing, which combines a skippy double-time flow with some brilliantly evocative greazy content (I particularly love the 'in the local' bars):
If you see me with no jewels, it don't mean I'm not grindin', I'm doin' my ting, I'm not on a hype ting, but I got my ting, I'm on the high road gettin' rid of my ting, in the ends I sling, I'm not on this ting for show, mans on ting on the roads, so know that I'm in the local gettin' my dough, listenin' to old school, gettin' rid of my O, I'm big on the roads, no-one has to tell me I'm a g, I Roll Deep on my own, I want a key of the po', for less than 3,5 otherwise don't bother phonin' my phone, do you realise I'm in love with the dough, I got half of the post code buzzin' off nose, I show no respect 'til you earn it, boil it if you wanna make that dough, I'm movin', I'm on a new ting so, listen to me I got the new lingo, I've seen grown men go down when lead blow, so you better get low, 'cos my crew's got the balls to let the Tech go off, we got tools and you will know what, we came to do, spray a few bars, get paid and then move off, I'll find all your crews not gangsta, your not gangsta, I'm a top boy in the crew tho', I'm soon to bust, I got tunes watch, I'm too strong, I'm gonna prove you wrong, I get wong, I'm next on the throne and you lot know I'm gone, I'm a one-man army, I sell A Class, think fast if you wanna make that money
WAAAAASTEMAN!
And that's all there is; no chorus, no break in the rhymes, just a beat that bangs like an ex-lifer in a brothel and Brazen ripping it to death with a deliciously dextrous drug-dealing ditty. Perfect. The best tune of 2006, and one of the best tunes from grime full stop.
Following on from yesterday's exhaustive list of grime-related footballers, here's a quick round-up of footballers who have foolishly (its always foolishly) tried to get involved in rapping:
Clint 'Deuce' Dempsey feat. Big Hawk - Don't Tread
As well as being excellent value for money in fantasy football (2007/2008 season), Clint can also claim to have recorded a nike-sponsored rap single, 'Don't Tread' with deceased Atlanta rap legend Big Hawk.
Aside from the copious Nike references which make it abundantly clear who was signing the cheques this isn't actually that embarassing; Deuce darkens his flow quite nicely, and the beat comes very close to banging. Alright, the content isn't really there, but thats the case with a good 75% of mainstream hip-hop so it would be churlish to castigate Clint for this. Big Hawk murders him on his own shit, mind.
A fairly auspicious start for the footballers, see the really embarassing stuff after the break...
Andy Cole - Outstanding
Apparently this is so bad the video doesn't even exist on youtube. My deeply repressed memories of a traumatic encounter with said video recall Andy stumbling and mumbling his verses from the front seat of a car. This song was actually made in conjunction with DJ Pied Piper and the Unknown MC (aka early UK hip-hop legend Kamanchi Sly), later to bother the charts with their inescapable 'Do You Really Like It?', demonstrating Andy's A&R skills where a few notches above his rapping ones. As if the cliche factor of a beat based on cod-Casio replaying of the Gap Band's 'Outstanding' wasn't high enough Andy actually says 'Can I kick it? Yes I can!' during his first verse. Best line: 'the son of a miner, funkiest rhymer, always in the news, my crew's the headliners'
Andy Cole break it down!
John Barnes
Repeat offender John Barnes actually took to the mic on two seperate occasions, for Liverpool FC's LL Cool J-spoofing 'Anfield Rap' ('you two scousers are always yappin', I'm gonna show you some serious rappin' ') and then New Order/Keith Allen's 'World In Motion' ('there's only one way to beat them, get round the back'). The fact that I was able to dredge both those lines from my memory indicates Barnesy must have been doing something right, however he loses points for having his rhymes ghost-written by an Aussie who invented the Predator boot (Craig Johnston, Liverpool team-mate, all round entrepeneur and composer of 'The Anfield Rap') and a balding bon viveur Fulham fan (as a New Order fan I'm hoping desperately Keith 'Lily's dad' Allen was responsible for the execrable rap on 'World In Motion'). 'The Anfield Rap'
Having watched this again its a bloody banger. New Order feat. John Barnes - World In Motion
This one, less so. Barnesy was awarded the right to rap this after Chris Waddle and Paul Gascoigne (who along with Peter Beardsley, Steve McMahon & Des Walker were the only players from the Italia '90 squad to show up for the recording) tried to perform it and were unable to be comprehended due to their geordie accents. Fortunately, Gazza was later able to demonstrate his spitting skills with Lindisfarne on 'Fog On the Tyne':
Nigel Reo-Coker, Marlon Harewood & Anton Ferdinand
Appeared on Westwood/Goldfinger. At one point Westwood bigs up Anton's brother Rio's rhyme skills, stating he gets a txt of hot rhymes from Rio nearly everyday (!). To show that the talent is spread equally around the family Anton sings a little acapella (at 11:45), to be fair he holds his own.
Edgar Davids
As if a Wyclef Jean/Brian Harvey collaboration wasn't hallucinogenic enough, Edgar Davids popped up in the video to show off his keep-uppy skills. Professional wanker Dave Courtney also shows up to remove a little bit more authenticity from the least convincing depiction of prison life ever recorded on film. Listening to this video with the volume on anything other than mute is done at your own risk.
Wyclej Jean feat. Brian Harvey - Lovin' You
Quincy Owusu-Abeyie
Cousin of Sway, rumoured (mainly by Sway and Quincy) to be hot on the mic.
David Beckham
Name-checked by Lil Wayne on 'Playing With Fire' from his chart-slaying 'Tha Carter III' set. 'Osh B'Gosh, Posh Spice husband couldn't kick it like I kick it, bitch, I kicks it'
Djibril Cisse
Has a myspace music page, but disappointingly it seems to consist of Fatman Scoop shouting over vaguely funky afrobeat and other artist's music. Videos of him dj'ing if you're interested.
Didier 'Drogbacite' Drogba
Apparently raps under the name 'Drogbacite', however a cursory google and youtube search failed to find any evidence of this. Did turn up some rappers from the Ivory Coast's tribute song to him though: Billy-Billy - Didier Drogba
Its not suprising that there are strong, and increasingly strengthening, links between professional football and the grime scene given that high-level football has always recruited some of its most talented practitioners from low-income urban areas; precisely grime's main constituency. And so, partially inspired by grimedaily.com's recent youtube videos of mcs playing football, here are my top ten grime-related footballers:
1) Jermaine Defoe.
The half-brother of the late, great Gavin 'Esco' Defoe. Esco was an enigma within the grime scene, undoubtedly lyrically gifted, with an impeccable voice and flow, he remained entrenched within a 'road' lifestyle which hampered his musical productivity but gave him an unimpeachable rep when he did speak. He was a foundation mc within the grime scene. One of the most intriguing things about Esco was that he refused to capitalise on his relation to his England international sibling; it remained a fact of which I was unaware of until his tragic demise, despite the clear resemblance they shared. This knowledge added a great deal of posthumous poignancy to my favourite Esco (big) bars:
Ride fi' yuh family name,
'cah nuttin' ain't stronger than your family name,
certain man don't 'old up their family name,
but I ride like Will (?) for my family name,
buck and bust for my family name,
man feel tough with their family name,
it's cool, I was certain of their families' fame,
'til them get gun shots like Jen (?)'
Esco murkin' clip:
taken from: Esco - 96 Bars of Revenge
Essentially riding for his family name was Esco did on a daily basis, exposed to the jealousy of those who envied his brother yet with little of the benefits that compensated Jermaine for this intrusion, he refused to seek fame through association, instead alluding to it with bars like this; those that knew, knew.
Other quality Esco-related music:
Wiley - 16 Bar Rally feat. Rage, Esco, Jammer, Scorcher & Gods Gift (Esco appears 3rd on this)
Cake Freestyle
This track contains my second favourite Esco lyric:
'Thursdays I do pubs, wine bars and clubs, 'cos I love to enjoy myself 'round people and have a laugh, I'm fronting, I'm only in there to rid my stuff, pussy' Pretty much perfect bars, drawing you in with the apparent confession of humanity amongst the straight-up greaze, then throwing it back in your face straight away, yet doing do with such dark humour you can't help but laugh.
Esco grimetapes.com clip:
R.I.P. ESCO. PLEASE RELEASE HIS MIXTAPE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.¹
2) Shabazz 'Terminator' Baidoo.
By all rights T should be top of this list, what with having been an actual professional footballer as well as a semi-famous mc. Sadly, he loses points for being rubbish at both football and mcing. Yet when he was a 17 year-old making appearances in QPR's first team at the same time as appearing on Axe FM with top grime crew Cold Blooded Shabazz/Terminator was the poster boy for the grime/football cross-over. Unfortunately, he was released by QPR in January 2008, one of a number of talented home-grown players (at least according to my experience managing QPR on Football Manager) who suffered following the Briatore/Mittal/Ecclestone takeover of the club.² He is currently playing for Croydon Athletic in the Isthmian League First Division South.
I was of course being ridiculously harsh in my dismissal of him as a rubbish mc, although that was undoubtedly my opinion the first time I heard him spit. Terminator is a totally unique figure within grime, combining a flow so slow it makes Trim look like Twista with undeniably eccentric rhymes, which I suspect he occasionally freestyles (it certainly appeared that this was the case during his recent appearance on a Tim & Barry Street Set). These are intentional affectations designed to emphasise that he 'mcs for fame only' rather than commercial gain, although he made this proclamation during a time when his football career was rather rosier. He has an undeniably amazing mcing voice, an E.T.-like alien croak. My favourite T moment comes from Cold Blooded's appearance on Logan Sama earlier this year, where he completely showers for 2 and a half minutes:
'I'm so darkside that its in my spit,
it comes so natural I don't need to get into it,
I don't need to switch to spit,
I know certain man that need to switch to spit,
I'm in my own world,
I do drift,
I do miss,
thats because I don't liss...
I don't listen,
maybe thats my problem,
maybe its where I come from,
and its T'
Cold Blooded on Logan - Terminator Takes Over
At his best Terminator can say more by staying silent for half a bar than most mcs can by squeezing a load of syllables into the same space.
3) Leon Knight.
Lower-league footballer and cousin of former Roll Deep mc and notable grime Man. Utd. fan Trim.³ Trim dissed Leon on 'Cold World' from his 'Soulfood Vol.3' mixtape for abandoning his family following his rise to 'fame'. I was pleased Trim made this decision as I have held a grudge against his erstwhile cousin ever since I watched him score the penalty which condemned Bristol City to another season in League One in the 2003/4 play-off final, possible my all-time shittest moment as a football fan.
Trim - It's A Cold World
4) Jonathon Fortune.
Useful centre-back and cousin of Kano. Part of Charlton Athletic's not-that-memorable Fish-Costa-Fortune (get it?) Premiership back three. Kano was also on Chelsea's books as a youth, although he failed to get into the 'The Match' celebrity squad: a pretty shameful achievement when you consider Angus Deayton did.
5) Kevin Lisbie.
'They don't wanna two fist me, fist me,
I'm quick,
I used to kick ball with Lisbie'
Wiley - 50/50
6) Harvey.
Admittedly not a grime mc, he appeared on proto-grime classic 'Dilemma' so he gets a bly. Played for AFC Wimbledon and Lewes and even more impressively was featured in 'Football Manager' as a frankly shoddy left-back.
7) Darren Byfield.
His missus (the utterly gorgeous and lovely Jamelia) was shagged by Maxwell D, who proceeded to sell the story to the News of the World.⁴ Not, it can be said, the behaviour of a gentleman. Allegedly Maxwell's car was then shot up the next time he was in Birmingham.
8) Lee Brown.
Bit of a cheat this one, Lee Brown is better known as All-In-One, a grime mc and former West Ham youth player. One of the most purely talented mcs within grime, Lee never managed the achievements his footballing ability warranted and his music career looks to be heading in a similar direction. Sort it out Lee! His position in this list enables me to post this song:
All-In-One - My Music Rocks
Quite simply the best 'Sweet Child 'O Mine'-sampling (or in this case slyly-reinterpolating) song in the world.⁵
9) Marcus Bent.
According to various internet sources he was tangentially connected to So Solid Crew, under the pseudonym 'MC Bender'. At number 9 because of the strong likelihood of this being a piss-take.
10) Aron Winter.
Name-checked by grime mc Scorcher:
'start tackling mans like its the 90's and my name was Aron Winter'
Included simply because I love the lyric. Look out for Daniel Day-Lewis' number one spot in my future 'Top Ten Grime-Related Actors' list, similarly based on a reference from a peak form Scorcher.⁶
Peace.
Footnotes:
¹ A Esco grimetapes.com collection would also be a fitting tribute
² Where are you now Dominic Shimmin and Stefan Bailey?
³ see also: Trim's former Roll Deep colleague Riko
⁴ Pre-their marriage, obviously. Jamelia's to nice to get up to anything like that now... she has never met me though.
⁵ Beating off competition from Ny's 'Sooner or Later' and Fort Minor, Ryu, Celph-Titled & Juelz Santana's 'S.C.O.M.'
⁶ 'I wear Prada shoes, brand new-ish,
I rep for the fam like I'm Jewish,
come from North but I got a few goons in Lewish
If I ain't the dan then who is?
know man locked in cells like apes in a zoo is,
swing for your face like Lewis,
wanna hype up on the phone,
guess what I'ma do is,
'Hello?', that's what the clue is,
yeah, I'm number one like three minus two is,
I know man that'll clap ya,
your just an actor, like Daniel Day-Lewis,
but real man know who who is'
disclaimer: if you are the artist and you would like your music removed contact me. please note that this is not a bootlegging site and i will never post up full albums unless they are already freely available in the public domain. this blog's intention is to attract more fans to your music through intelligent critical analysis. dun kno.
2006 memories; these blocks and this song
